


The Hole

by Elena78, SAYS



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alcohol, F/M, Romance, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-07-05 11:22:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15862620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elena78/pseuds/Elena78, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SAYS/pseuds/SAYS
Summary: For Tahera - Life after the war changed everyone. But for one girl, how did it make her feel to empty and lifeless? Will it change or will she wither away in her misery?





	The Hole

**Author's Note:**

> I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date! Tahi, my lovely...Just as this was due, this "I don't know where I'm going with this..." turned into a song fic. It's cheap and nasty (well, it was a quick one-shot) that came to me after writing two other stories - one that was too obvious for me to post right now. I hope you enjoy this as I did, bringing these characters together once more :)
> 
> Disclaimer: Lyrics from the Song “Flames” by David Guetta & Sia

There is a black hole that sits inside. Perhaps in the heart or in the depths of the soul. Sometimes it’s hard to tell. It never used to be there, but it’s there now. How it came to exist is hard to tell. Was it when her relationship broke down? Was it when she tried to escape the pain of losing her one true love? Or perhaps it was when she finally accepted that there was nothing left to salvage. Life was moving on and she was moving along in it.

 

There is no exact sadness, but every now and then she feels a twinge of pain and an emptiness she cannot explain. She knows she’s alive because she’s still breathing, but there is no life in her anymore. It’s like the light switched off and auto pilot took over and she wasn’t sure how to switch it back.

 

What she did know was that she needed to change something in her life, she just wasn’t sure what or where to start. She only knew she had to keep moving.   
  


  
_ One foot in front of the other babe _

_ One breath leads to another yeah _

_ Just keep moving, oh _

_ Look within for the strength today _

_ Listen out for the voice to say _

_ Just keep moving, oh _

  
  


Even now, as she sat in her booth at the Hogs Head, staring at the shot of whiskey she had ordered an hour ago, she knew something had to change. But her routine was the same. She went to work, play Quidditch, and then make her way to the Hogs Head. Her feet always knew were to take her. Turn left, walk down the row, and sit in the booth on the right. Number 44. Shortly after her shot would arrive. Sometimes she’d drink it then leave, other times, like now, she’d just sit there, staring at it. Thinking.

 

Always thinking.   
  


 

_ Go, go, go _

_ Figure it out, figure it out, but don't stop moving _

_ Go, go, go _

_ Figure it out, figure it out, you can do this _   
  


 

Sometimes she felt like she was thinking out nothing at all, her mind simply shutting down and she’d lose a chunk of time. Sometimes she’d replay her day, or even moments in her life. Some happy, some sad. But nothing ever seemed to fill the hole, instead, the emptiness grew.

 

Her mother tried making things better by including her in more family gatherings. Hermione Granger too, by including her in the wedding plans. She’d say the right things, smile at the right times, even muster a laugh or two. But nothing they did could fill the void. She’d leave, go to the Hogs Head and get her shot of whiskey.

 

She liked the Hogs Head. It no longer held the same reputation it once did before the war. It was almost the place to be. Fortunately for her though, the spotlight was still on Harry Potter and he never went back there after the war. It allowed her the escape she needed. She already had her headlines played out in the papers. Breaking up with Harry Potter was never not going to be front page news. She survived the stares, the whispers, the fingers pointing, the girls giggling, other young women thinking she was crazy for breaking up with the saviour of the world. 

 

But they never knew how lonely she felt, even though she was almost always surrounded by people. They never noticed how her love for Harry slowly slipped away as they were swept up in post war life. It wasn’t because of anything Harry did or didn’t do. It wasn’t because of anyone else. Life simply begun and everything she once felt as a young girl began to drift away as she matured.

 

She had found her escape in Quidditch and the excitement and energy of the game filled the emptiness. But once the game ended and everyone went home it quickly returned leaving her feeling numb. After one game, she went back to the Burrow and it no longer felt like home. Although the house was full of life and her mothers cheery voice, she found it gave very little relief. That night she decided to find her own apartment and move.

 

She found a small apartment in Diagon Alley but that was very short lived as the local reporters would wait for her outside her apartment, wanting a story on Harry. Tom, the Inn Keeper at The Leakey Cauldron, gave her a contact for Muggle London where she could go. It had been a year now, since she left The Burrow, and she was yet to fill the hole.   
  
  


_ So, my love, keep on running _

_ You got to get through today _

_ There my love, keep on running _

_ Gotta keep those tears at bay _

_ Oh, my love, don't stop burning _

_ Gonna send them up in flames _

_ In flames _

 

“Excuse me, would you mind if I sit with you? The place is packed at the moment.”

 

She barely heard someone speaking to her, but she was responding before she saw who was talking to her. “Of course. It’s only ever me here…” As her eyes met those of the voice, she gasped. 

 

“I’m sorry to intrude.” He said as he sat opposite her in the booth, his blonde hair was no longer slicked back, but it did droop into his eyes and he combed it back with his fingers. “I usually get here earlier, but I was finishing a task late up at the Ministry. I suppose you’ve already heard the news?”

 

She stared at Draco Malfoy for a moment before she found her wits. “What news?”

 

“Harry proposed to Luna in the lobby of the Ministry.”

 

“Harry’s engaged?”

 

“Yeah, I only caught the last of it, but it would appear so now.” Draco saw the sadness on her face and frowned. “Surely you aren’t still pining for him, Ginny?”

 

Ginny Weasley felt her face flush. “I’m not pining. I just…I just thought he would have given me a heads up about it.”

 

At that point a Waitress came to their table. “You ordering or what?” She said rather rudely to Draco. “I dunno why this place needs waiting on with the riff raff that comes in ‘ere.”   
  
“Excuse me?” Draco replied. 

 

“Over there…” The waitress nodded.

 

Both Ginny and Draco looked across the room and saw Blaise Zabini and Pansy Parkinson sitting in a booth. “You do realise they are friends of ours.” Ginny said back at the waitress. “They aren’t riff raff.”   
  
“Pfft! Right.” The waitress rolled her eyes. “Like people can change overnight? If You-Know-Who ever returns…”

 

“He’s dead!” Both Draco and Ginny said in unison. 

 

“Are you out of your mind?” Draco hissed. “Were you asleep during the war?”

 

The waitress looked shocked for a moment, but then stood with her hands on her hips. “Do you people really expect us to believe that the greatest, darkest wizard to have ever lived, was killed by a disarming spell?”    
  
“Perhaps you need to read Hogwarts: A History Part 2.” Ginny replied and realised how much she missed Hermione in that moment. “It would explain to you what really happened with the Elder Wand and Voldemort’s spell backfiring.”    
  
“Whatever!” The waitress huffed. “When he comes back, I’ll be the first to say, ‘I told you so!’” The waitress stomped off just as Draco motioned to Blaise and Pansy to join them.   
  
“Draco!” Blaise shook Draco’s hand and gave him a manly hug. “How you, doin’ man?”

 

“I’m good. The Ministry is keeping me busy.” Draco scooted across so Blaise could sit beside him and Ginny did the same as Pansy sat beside her.

 

“I still can’t believe they are trusting you enough to work there.” Pansy said as she downed the last of her drink. As Pansy placed her empty glass on the table, four more cocktails appeared. “Cheers!” Pansy said raising her glass.”

 

Everyone looked at her and raised their glasses to hers. “What are we toasting to?” Ginny asked in confusion.

 

“The fact we are alive.” Pansy smiled.

 

Draco, Blaise, and Pansy fell into conversation with ease and Ginny sat back and stared at the drink in her hand. She couldn’t stop the sharp pang in her heart. Again, she felt that emptiness and sadness and the fact that she was surrounded by people yet felt so alone. She tried hard to keep her tears from falling and began to breathe deeply.

 

“Drink, Ginny.” Pansy whispered. “Trust me, tomorrow is a new day.”   
  
  


_ Don't stop, tomorrow's another day _

_ Don't stop, tomorrow you'll feel no pain _

_ Just keep moving _

_ Don't stop the past'll trip you up _

_ You know, right now's gotta be enough _

_ Just keep moving _

 

Ginny looked at the drink, her shot long forgotten and took a sip of her drink. She felt instantly warm, her head cleared, and she smiled. Before Ginny knew it, the drink was gone and a new one had replaced it. 

 

“Just keep drinking.” Pansy winked at Ginny.   
  
Ginny looked at the glass and picked it up. She wasn’t sure what was happening. This was not like her. She’d only have her shot and go home. But the drink was making her forget the emptiness and is was like feeling a weight being lifted off her shoulders.    
  
  


_ Go, go, go _

_ Figure it out, figure it out, but don't stop moving _

_ Go, go, go _

_ Figure it out, figure it out, you can do this _

 

Three hours later and countless drinks, Ginny was dancing and singing on a dancefloor they had created in the Hogs Head. No one stopped them, some people joined them, but mostly, they just drank, danced, sang, and talked. Ginny had let go of everything – her head was no longer spinning with thoughts and she had never felt this free before.   
  
After another song had finished playing from an invisible source, Pansy grabbed Ginny’s hand. “Bathroom break…” She puffed out and Ginny allowed herself to be dragged off as she waved at Draco and Blaise.

 

The girls waited in line for their turn and once back at the sinks, Pansy smiled at Ginny in their reflections. “I never realised it before,” she said. “But Draco has a huge crush on you.”

 

“What?” Ginny said innocently which made Pansy laugh.   
  
“You really can’t see it?”

 

“No.” Ginny turned to face Pansy. “Why would he have a crush on me?”   
  
Pansy shrugged. “I can’t tell you why, but I know him well enough to know he’s got a thing for you.”

 

Ginny stood, dumbfounded as other girls pushed past them to wash their hands. “I…I am so not worth it…” Ginny could feel the tears pool in her eyes.

 

“What on earth are you on about?” Pansy looked genuinely shocked. “If anything, Draco feels like he has something to prove to you.”   
  
“All that business is over.” Ginny shook hear head. “You know that.”   
  
“Yes,” Pansy replied. “Things are different now. But in some ways, it’s still the same. People look at us the same and treat us the same, no matter if we’ve been cleared or not.” Pansy shrugged. “It’s why I drink and dance.” Pansy twirled around in the bathroom, knocking into some other people as she spread out her arms. “Oh, I’m sorry,” she laughed.    
  
Ginny shook her head. “You’re crazy.”    
  
“Don’t over think things, Ginny. Just go with the flow.” Pansy smiled as she took Ginny’s hand and led her back to Draco and Blaise.

  
  


_ So, my love, keep on running _

_ You got to get through today _

_ There my love, keep on running _

_ Gotta keep those tears at bay _

_ Oh, my love, don't stop burning _

_ Gonna send them up in flames _

_ In flames _

 

Ginny found herself being spun by Draco as they danced, picking right back up where they had left off. She couldn’t help but blush as she repeated Pansy’s words in her head: “ _ Just go with the flow… _ ” Ginny closed her eyes, allowing herself to be led, spun, dipped, and moved around the dancefloor. Slowly, as the night wore on, Ginny could feel the emptiness burn away.   
  


  
_ In flames _

_ In flames _

_ Go, go, go _

_ Figure it out, figure it out, but don't stop moving _

_ Go, go, go _

_ Figure it out, figure it out, you can do this _

 

At some ungodly hour of the morning, Ginny had her arms wound around Draco’s neck, she was snuggled up to him, swaying to a slow song. She was smiling, content, and she had not one care in the world. 

 

“Ginny?”

 

“Mmm?” She felt Draco lightly tug her back, so he was looking at her.   
  
“I…” Draco began to say but he was struggling with words. 

 

Without thinking, Ginny pulled him down to her, their lips meeting in a fiery kiss. Her heart thumped in her chest, as she felt his lips move over hers over and over.

  
  
  
_ So, my love, keep on running _

_ You got to get through today _

_ Then my love, keep on running _

_ Gotta keep those tears at bay _

_ Oh, my love, don't stop burning _

_ Gonna send them up in flames _

_ In flames _

 

Ginny’s emptiness was disappearing. The hole she felt was filling up. She had no comprehension of why. Prior to this night, her interaction with Draco was minimal at best. But right then, she didn’t want to question it. She felt a fire deep inside her that she had never felt before and all she knew was that Draco had ignited it.    
  
It was some time later, as the sun was beginning to rise that Draco had walked her home. They were both reluctant to let each other go, but finally, with one last breathless kiss, Draco let her go.   
  
She watched him walk away, but she called him back. “Why me?” She asked when he had reached her.   
  
“That is a story for another day.” Draco kissed her once more and turned and left.   
  
She watched him walk away, unaware when he had disapparated. She sat on the steps to her apartment, watching the sun rise and the morning birds sing. It was a new day and her old feelings had died, burned up in flames as she let go of her past. For the first time in a long time, Ginny sighed happily, stood and walked inside, leaving the emptiness behind.


End file.
